Hi everyone, my name is Giulianna and welcome to my first blog post on this website. I hope to use this blog post to let you know a little bit about me and some of my motivations. I am a recent graduate of the Artist’s Diploma Program (Vocal Performance) at The Glenn Gould School in Toronto. I am based in Toronto where I teach voice and piano while I work towards creating a career path that is best for me. In this post today, I want to share my new year's resolutions as a way to describe my motivations and influences; what I have been working on and what I am working towards in 2021 in hope that some of you may share yours.
I’ll actually begin this post with a bit of a curve ball: my new year’s resolutions aren’t ‘new’. I suspect that this is probably true for most of us. As one year ends and a new year begins, we all consider new year's resolutions that usually sound like renewed commitments to existing goals. This is certainly true for me. I have been working on my personal resolutions for a couple of years now. Often when a new year turns over, I reflect on resolutions that become stagnant goals. In these cases, my habits took over and nothing changed in terms of my physical health, my mental health and my career goals. I always heard stories from people explaining how a huge revelation inspired them to incorporate major changes in their lives. Over the past two years, I decided I was done waiting for my huge revelation.
One major aspect of my life that needed attention was my health. Previously, I had neglected my physical health, and this neglect resulted in symptoms that began to affect my performance. I suffered from bronchitis multiple times a year, terrible acid reflux which left me with coughing fits that even forced me off the stage during a performance. I was not happy, I told myself so many lies that prevented me from initiating a serious intervention needed to reach my full potential physically. Prior to 2019, I felt that I was merely hoping and waiting for that change to come. In 2019 however, I chose to initiate big changes by starting with small goals. The first health goal I created for myself was fitness related.
I was introduced to kickboxing earlier in the year through a friend. Our kickboxing club provided several monthly challenges that included daily challenges of push ups, dips and squats. I decided that’s where I would start. The daily challenges from the club would be the small goals I would use to initiate big changes. Each program began with 5 reps of each exercise and would increase by 2-4 more reps each day. I made it through all three challenges reaching 75 reps of each exercise (yes even push ups - I have the video to prove it) and to my surprise, I had kept a promise that I made to myself. My small daily goals became one big accomplishment.
The second major target for some planned changes revolved around mental health, with specific focus on limiting beliefs and habits that affect my academic and professional life. Long before beginning my Artist Diploma at the Glenn Gould School, I had experienced periods in my life in which I struggled academically due to internal self-doubt. My insecurities with my education stem from when I was a little girl. Early on in my education I believed that I wasn’t smart enough, or good enough. Some of this was a result of childhood bullying and low self esteem which I carried with me far into my undergraduate degree. This was concerning because the bullying had long stopped in elementary school, but I kept believing that I wasn’t good enough well into adulthood. I heard once that if we have to choose pain, we choose the pain that is most familiar. I chose to continue to believe in my insecurities rather than what I was capable of, simply due to a fear of failing.
As with my physical health, I needed small goals to initiate a big change with my mental health. Those small goals would become clear after I read the book ‘Girl wash your face’ by Rachel Hollis that made me change the way I think about myself. This book resonated with me because it described a process in which you tell yourself lies that prevent you from moving forward. I never thought of it that way. I had been lying to myself for so many years. I didn’t believe I was capable of becoming physically fit, I stopped myself from excelling in school, I told myself I wasn’t smart enough, and I believed the lies I told myself about my voice. I told myself that I wasn’t as good as my peers. After reading the book, I realized these were all self-inflicted limiting beliefs, and they could be overcome.
Instead of repeating my habits and quitting before even beginning, I started small. During my Artist’s Diploma Program, I worked on assignments early, I asked for help along the way, I forced myself to ask questions in front of the class, and I turned to that book for comfort. In 2019-2020 I completed my schooling with the highest grade-point average I had ever achieved in my educational career. This was a large change that I never thought was possible for me. There it was, another large achievement that I had set out and accomplished from a series of small goals.
No matter how much I was improving at planning and achieving goals, I could not have prepared for the challenges that arose during 2020. Rather than look back and turn to my old habits, I remembered this statement I read from ‘Girl wash your face’ : What if this time, I didn’t break that promise to myself? I remembered that statement and thought about it everyday. Instead of giving in to my fears, I chose to keep stepping forward. As I continued to push myself and move forward, I recognized that next steps of my development could no longer be done alone, despite the fact that all in-person training was cancelled. Instead I sought out mentorship for the three main pillars of my life.
The first mentor I connected with was my virtual trainer Sydney Cummings. Although I have never met her directly, following her program has been a form of mentorship for me, and has changed me in so many different ways. I have followed her program almost every day for nearly a year. Today, I have an unbroken streak of working out everyday for the last 60 days. I have lost another 20 lbs in addition to the 30 lbs I lost prior to her program. Her words of motivation have brought me to tears countless times and the inspiration I get watching her brand grow from just a simple home gym is indescribable.
Next, I sought out therapy to help me understand and learn about myself. My therapy process has been a series of conversations that have provided me with so much clarity and understanding to my own life. The definition of therapy that I was given and that resonates with me is: “What do I want most, and how do I go about not getting it?” As funny as this may seem, it rings true, and the benefits from self exploration have been life changing.
The other form of mentorship that I sought out was career-oriented. This journey brought me to Elizabeth McDonald and Emily Martin. From our very first meeting to now, I have been incredibly grateful for their expertise and compassion. It has completely changed how I view my future and what I can visualize as possible. The benefits of their guidance extend well beyond vocal performance, and have been a source of strength during the isolating conditions of the pandemic.
Now this year in 2021, I will be 29 and I am so excited to keep moving forward. My new year’s resolutions aren’t new. Instead, it is my approach to my resolutions that has evolved. I will continue to break large goals into small goals. I will continue to believe in myself. I will continue to trust in the power community and mentorship. 2021 is a new year, and after what we all overcame during 2020, we have much to look forward to together.
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